I wish I could be someone else.
I wish I could be prettier. I wish I could be more witty, more charming.
I wish I was the type of girl that people miss when she’s not around. I wish I was someone worthwhile.
I wish I had important things to say, so that when I speak people want to listen. I wish I could have a conversation.
I wish I had talent, so people would look at what I do and think, “Wow, that’s really great.” I wish I could do something important.
I’ve always wondered if maybe some people on this earth aren’t meant for great things. I know we’re all temporary, but I’ve always wondered if some of us are more temporary than others. If some of us are just stepping stones and fillers of space in the lives of those who are destined to be great. If we’re only here to help them pass a certain amount of time until their true purpose comes to call, or show them all the horrible things they must avoid in order to reach their potential.
I have never been brilliant. I have never been the kind of girl who captures the attention of everyone in a room when she enters. I have never been a holder of great discussions, the creator of a great work of art, or the great love of someone’s life.
I am plain. I weigh a little more than I should. I can be slow to catch on to jokes, oblivious to things that are right in front of my eyes. I cry too easily. I talk too much. I’m not strong enough.
I have a big heart – bigger than most. I have more love to give inside this little body than most, and an intense need to give it. I am loyal. I can take anything you can throw at me, and I will never waiver in my love or my loyalty.
Maybe that isn’t enough.
I wish someone would tell me what is, because I would give anything to just be enough.